Perhaps It Is Time……

Edit: This is not a retirement post so don’t get disappointed if you’re not on it.

It appears that I have started to lose or turn away my closest friends, the ones that were my foundation, the ones that kept me from being affected by any petty insults or criticisms. Its what kept me able to punish the wrongdoers or remove the unable and unqualified from power even when they were my friends.

It was what made me able to be me and to be so successful at what I’ve done.

I feel that this foundation may be crumbling, that I may soon lose it. When that happens, I will most likely change who I am, not for the better, but for the worse.

Therefore I will be leaving now, as many people have been begging and wishing of me for days, weeks, months, and year

I’m not writing this for anyone but myself, if anyone find this on my site, congratulations. You got a rare glimpse into my mind.

I know I am intelligent, that the way is different than most, that it is unique. I know that I hide who I really am, at least to anyone who I do not consider a friend. But I also know that once you get past the tests, the barriers, and anything else I throw up in between myself and people, as soon as I consider you to be a friend, the theatrics disappear and you can see who I really am. That “Shab” is not just a heartless person but someone who plans out what hes doing and does it for the best, at least he tries for that to be the outcome.

I thought about this long and hard, but I have decided that it may be time. Obviously my old tricks do not work anymore. People agree that I’m not needed, that what I advise won’t work. I saw this is unmod week. I was asked to help, I did what I’ve seen work, and it was overturned less than 48 hours after it was finished. Completely undone, overturned, and thrown out. It was a way of giving the soldiers a voice but of course, no one wants that. They are soldiers after all aren’t they? Mindless noobs, until you get to a leader rank of course. That means you aren’t a noob anymore. Funny though, funny how the worst offenders on chat are still the same position. For an army that promotes that it protects CP and the well being of its soldiers, allowing a curse happy moderator named Mazachster and a ban/abuse happy owner, Dryvit, to remain their respected ranks seems counter-intuitive.

But that won’t change, we ask people what they want, and then are surprised when they complain about getting it. We have to all realize that no one is going to be 100% satisfied. But no one understand that, no one has the guts to stand up for what they believe. Instead, they cower and fold and give in to foolish demands. And that is what will be the downfall of all great things. That will be what brings the ACP eventually to its knees.

Oagal, Boomer, they were strong willed. But they were also open eared. You can do both at the same time. They heard people’s opinions and they responded. They improved themselves but when they were sure about something, they didn’t give it. Neither of them would allow ACP to be run like this. Oagal would have brought the mod line up to division general and told everyone else to suck it. Once Boomer punished someone he would make them keep their punishment, not reverse it after a few days due to complaints. Everyone is responsible for their own actions, you cannot forgive someone just because the public thinks that they should be forgiven. If you do it becomes a matter of popularity which already runs our lives more than it ever should.

The fact that all that I’ve said above will be ignore, disbelieved, tossed out and forgotten means it obviously time for me to go.

I’d like to ask tho, why is it so hard to face up to people? Why is it so hard to tell someone something even if it will insult them instead of lying or beating around the bush? Doesn’t anyone realize that in the end it makes the person feel better? That in the end it works better and there is no confusion or side effects or anything that results. I never understood why people learn to not be more straightforward…..

Thus, I would like to end this post by being straightforward, in the hopes that these messages will be spread to the people they are designated to be read by.

Ken: Get some guts, you relied on me way too much. Stop listening to others and instead listen to yourself. While the retired people will always love suck ups, its not going to run this army. I had too much power, I knew it, even if I sometimes over used it. If you do one last thing for me, get the Rotten Meat Bill repealed or repeal it between Flipper and yourself. Thats something I regret not working harder on.

Flip: Talk to Ken more, become a better team. It doesn’t work when you two hardly talk and never are on the same page. The recruiting stuff is great that you’re posting. Keep it up. I’m glad you passed that coup test.

Bob: I think you have a better idea than Ken and Flip what needs to be done, at least for chat. My suggestion, unmod anyone who you know who doesn’t do anything to earn their modship. My suggestions? Maz definitely forever. Dry for at least a month, if not two. Speeder, Noka, Ladtom for 1+ months. Ignore the petty complaints, they are hollow, merely favoritism.

Fox: If this was real life and I was closer to your age I think we’d get along. Its unfortunate that I don’t believe in online dating, I had a moment of misjudgment with Dragon and decided never to do that again.  If I did believe in it that marriage would have been real.

Lillie & Bunker: I’d suggest you two for the next 2ics. It’d be nice to see two hardheaded girls in leadership. Not that you aren’t qualified Kier, but you are too ready to jump into an arguement, too ready to disagree or ignore rules to suit your own opinion. That’s not what Ken and Flipper can handle, thus I don’t support you getting the rank.

Funks & Woton: Thanks for letting me onto the site. I’ve enjoyed writing the posts, as you may of seen, which is why I made sure they were so enjoyable. I will continue posting until the end of the summer so please keep me on the site. For anyone reading this, read my posts if you haven’t. I try to provide new ideas or improvements. It doesn’t always have to be the smaller armies testing them out, the bigger armies can stop their monotonous schedules and try something new once in a while.

Which leaves me to my last two people, the ones who I consider the main part of my foundation.

Fox & Lillie: You guys kept me coming to chat. Otherwise, it was mostly mindless squabbling and little fixes to the acp site with a new post every once in a while repeating what my last post said in different word, the underlying message being “Use your brain and stop being brainless nutheads.” I’d like to make sure you guys don’t think this is because of the secret, its because of what I learned by my last test. No, I can guess what the secret is just by the fact that you guys don’t want to tell me. But the point was to see what was eventually said about my, lets call it, temper tantrum. I realized that while I was in the circle, I would never be able to be in the inner circle. My character, my personality kept me from taking that step from one to another. I never knew Pie disliked me, apparently I decided to be blind to it. Thank you Lillie for pointing that out, it made me realize  that everything I’ve written so far in this post is connected and it motivated me to write it. I don’t have a place here, while people will accept me, I realized that my spot will be fill-able, maybe by one person, maybe by a couple, but never impossible. If I stayed I would never be able to stand one person hating me but hiding it so we would all get along.

I thought that it would work out but alas the only thing that would have worked would have been Boomer and myself and Boomer ditched me a long time ago for someone else.

Pie, I apologize if I treated you like a jerk, I never had a problem with you. I guess though that even if we both tried, it’d be a fake in the end, neither of us knowing if the other one was just faking it or not.

Lillie & Fox, I hope you get this, please send me the stories whenever you finish them. I enjoy reading them. I assume one of you has my email or you can get it from Boomer.

I guess this is actually goodbye, except for posting on CPAC, you won’t see me again. Rapidy & Bester take care of ShabsDesigns , if you contact me I’ll be happy to make designs in my free time.

Farewell,

~Shaboomboom aka Memo Man

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